This Just In......Alex Rodriguez is a Jackass.
I started writing another entry about how I like the way the Mets are headed. It was going pretty well, and then I got distracted. The distraction came in the form of an ESPN the Magazine article “written” by Alex Rodriguez. I should mention that if common sense rules your life, you have been advised that reading this article is a waste of time and will only enrage you. In fact when this magazine appears in supermarkets around the world, burn it. Burn it right in the store and save your fellow man the anguish.

Now I don’t want this site to look like an anti-Yankee site. Its true, I'm a Red Sox fan, John is a Cubs fan, but we try to stay objective as much as possible. I have no problem admitting that I admire, and even root for a lot of Yankees: Bernie Williams, Sheffield, Giambi, Tino Martinez, Pettite, Clemens. This entry has nothing to do with the Yankees, rather it is about a man whose has detached himself completely from reality.

Right around the time the off-season Arod fiasco was finally resolved, I wrote this elsewhere on a message board,

At least now I can rest assured that I can continue on with my pre-established hatred of Arod.

Well my hatred has just one-upped itself. I don’t know what level is above hatred, but I'll use an example to illustrate how I feel. Before today, if I ever saw Arod in a public place I probablly would have only heckled him. Yelled something immature at him like, "The fans in Seattle don’t miss your sorry ass." Or maybe something simple, like, "You are NOT a god." Now, after wasting 10 minutes of my life with this loathsome article, things have changed. If I ever saw Arod in public, I honestly think I would try and pick a fight with him.

Let me enlighten all of you, and drop some gems from the mouth of a baseball player who does his best to symbolize all that is wrong with the human race.

I respect the game and its challenges enough that I know this one will make me better, stronger. Fear of failure is what fuels me, keeps me on edge and sharp. I'm not as good when I'm comfortable.

Well maybe if you do better when uncomfortable, we should take away your $252 million dollar contract. Arod wants us to believe that he is somehow different than other athletes. He is driven by feelings that nobody could possibly understand besides the misunderstood golden god. He wrote this sob piece to warm the hearts of fans, and try to have them accept him for who he really was on the "inside". Well I'll try.

Right after professing a man crush on another Jackass, Barry Bonds, he continues,

Two of the biggest years I've had came with big pressure. My last year in Seattle, my contract year, I pushed back an envelope the Mariners gave me without even looking at it. There was probably a $150 million offer in there, but I doubled down. That’s not pressure?

Despite how ridiculous the idea that he never looked at the Mariners offer is (look back at the news stories, this is a blatant lie), what is even more ridiculous is how he equates the pressure of playing in New York with turning down a contract offer for one which would pay him $102 million more. Oh, yeah there's a lot of pressure involved in that decision. Lets start a poll: would you (A) take $150M to play in Seattle, or (B) take $252M to play in Texas? Where is the pressure in that decision?

When you remember what it was like to count your mother's $60 in waitressing tips on the bed, thinking it was all the money in the world?

Please, is Arod really trying to sob us into feeling sorry for his humble upbringings. He was an honor student, growing up in the suburbs of Miami. Ouch. Rough life. You don’t hear any other athlete talking about how hard it was to watch his brother get gunned down by gang members, or having to support an entire family, practice ball, and still get passing grades, and still only making the league minimum. Please Arod, you make me sick.

Last season was the toughest of my career because of that. I was overcome with a sense of depression. There were days I didn’t want to go to the ballpark. That had never happened to me before.

I think he means: days I didn’t want my chauffeur to drive me in my limo to the ballpark. I know he didnt mean to use such a strong word, but how does he get off associating making $25 million to play a game on a losing team with the real depression millions of American families deal with. I still am trying to convince myself that this piece wasnt edited, and that this insensitive comment was only a mistake.

Thankfully, he continues,

I know no one is going to feel sorry for me because of the contract,

You're damn right!

but I'd never really dealt with the frustration of the first two losing seasons, and that made last year even worse. I hit rock bottom in the middle of the season. I remember driving home with my wife, Cynthia, after a game and telling her, "I just don’t see the light. Where is the light? What am I in this for?" I would have never gone to Texas if they had told me, "Alex, it's going to be you and 24 kids." Never. For no amount of money.

I'm not even going to point out all that is wrong with this statement. Alex, YOU signed the contract, get over it. But "you and 24 kids"? Try telling that to Raffy Palmeiro, Juan Gonzalez, Ruben Sierra, and Kenny Rogers. Do they deserve to be on a winning team any less than you? What would you say to Karl Malone? If you are the best shortstop of all time, well, he is the best power forward of all time, does his nineteen years of basketball count less than you're eight, you arrogant prick?

Later on, talking about his new Yankee chums, Arod says,

There's nothing I can possibly tell Gary Sheffield that he doesn't already know.

Yeah, and I bet my boy Gary Sheffield doesn't want anything to do with you and your ego either. Even if you poured your heart out to Shef like you are to us, I am going to guess he wouldn’t give a shit. If you tried to give Shef some advice, he would tell you to go to hell because he knows you exactly for what you are.

Oh, still more,

I wasn't ready for the Yankees three years ago. I just wasn't mature enough to make it in New York.

Wrong. New York wasn’t ready for you. The world does not revolve around you. The Yankees weren't in a postion then to cough up $25 million for your services. Situations change though, hence the pinstripes. Seriously everyone, how in the hell can a sob story be written about Alex Rodriguez, let alone by Alex Rodriguez? Does he really expect us to feel sorry for him in the same article in which he writes about playing golf with Bill Gates and buying an original Picasso. He finishes up this majestic monument to greed, selfishness, and egotism with this gem,

Every time I put on the pinstripes, I feel like I'm dreaming. Don’t wake me up until the end of October.

Well Arod, if I don’t get the chance to wake you up with a fist to the face, here's hoping and praying that you get woken up with a Pedro 2-seamer on the outer black.

Sorry to rant guys, but some things just really get under my skin.

Curt  ¶ 11:20 PM