Its not Hoodoo its baseball for crying out loud.....
Well, here is the obligatory pre-Brawl post. The Red Sox and Yankees go at it again tonight. Read my slightly irrational thoughts on the subject, here, here, or here. I'm not really going to talk about the series too much, but if the Red Sox don't take at least 2 of 3 this weekend, the division race is probablly over.

What really gets to me, what I really can't stand is listening to the media hype surrounding these games. Every time these two teams match up, I have to see every image, every sound byte, and every audio clip of every failure and every near miss. The national media eats it up, especially the four letter, and they have sunken to new lows today. Tonight, after the Sox/Yankees game they are going to show Who's Cursed Worse: Red Sox and Cubs on Trial.

DIRECTLY after the game thousands of baseball fans will stick around to see the four letter's take on the imaginary construct known as "the curse". I can already see it, they'll show clips of Bostonians saying how horrible it is to be a Red Sox fan, what it feels like to be cursed, and how much the 'Yankees Suck!' (the real black eye on Boston fans is that damn chant).

The problem is that they'll only show complete idiots. The Red Sox fans on that program will be the lowest of the low, completely mindless boobs who do nothing but repeat the party line. What party that is? Its not my party, thats for sure. Here is what 99% of their interviews for that show went like:

The Four Letter: Hey would you like to be interviewed for an ESPN special?
Random Intelligent Baseball Fan: Yeah, sure.
ESPN: Are you a Red Sox fan?
RIBF: You're damn right I am!
ESPN: How does it feel to be cursed?
RIBF: Shut the F up, there is no curse. Go back to Bristol you moron.

They can't play that though, it doesn't make for good TV.

For those of you not familiar with the Boston media, there is a clown (aptly nicknamed the Curly Haired Boyfriend by Carl Everett) who wrote The Curse of the Bambino. He also is a columnist for the Boston Globe although if I had my way, he'd be out on the street. Every column he writes is filled with negativity, with self-pity, and with rampant animosity towards the Red Sox. I'm not even sure he believes in all that crap, but he found a niche, and he fills his columns with loads of crap perpetuating this belief that Red Sox fans are all like him.

He should be thrown out on the street because he has the optimism of a one-armed blind homeless midget. Unfortunately, this crap gets put off in the national media as representative of Red Sox fans in general. It just simply isn't true.

It makes good TV though. So we'll continue to hear it. It makes good TV for the same reasons why reality TV is such a success. Perpetuating "the curse" appeals to the lowest common denominator in the four letter's demographics. Unfortunately there are a lot of them, but if you've got half a brain, don't believe what you're told about Boston fans.

What will the national media do when there is no more "curse" to talk about? Will they actually have to cover BASEBALL instead? It would be a strange world indeed if ESPN were to actually talk about the games being played. Then they might have to hire some real journalists. Imagine.

They love this "curse" nonsense so much that they created a "curse" for the Cubs. The curse of the billy goat? Are you kidding? You can't retroactively put curses on people just to drum up ratings. I think its prohibited in the Hoodoo Constitution.

What if the Red Sox win the World Series? The media would then have to stop talking about the "curse" of the bambino and would re-focus their attention on the curse of the billy goat. Then, of course, the media would need another team to put a retroactive curse on.

The White Sox would be perfect. They haven't won since 1917, it must be the city of Chicago that is cursed after all. The curse of the Black Sox?? Nah, too easy. I am going to go out on a limb and call it the curse of Death Valley Jim Scott, but they'll probablly take the easy route and call it the curse of Chicago.

Hoodoo activists can email Curt to complain about being associated with mindless media boobs.  ¶ 1:27 PM