and so the new season begins......
The World Series is long over. There's a tendency to live in the past once you have finally shedded the demons that used to reside there. I am not going to do it. Theres too much baseball to think about. The new season has started and, The Hotstove has to earn its name.

Hotstove season officially starts November 11th, at which time all players will officially have to file for free agency, and at which time the full baseball related rambling onslaught will continue. Feel free to listen, chime in, or remain respectfully silent, but at least for now I have a little problem to work out.

Thundersticks.

Yeah, those air filled plastic phallic symbols have swept the nation. Selling for $3.25 a pop, you too can piss the hell out of your neighbors.

I don't know where they started, may have been Angels games, or it may have been in Sacramento (or was that the cowbell?), but they need to go. I didn't used to care too much, because I had never actually been to a game where they were employed. That changed last night.

Last night I went to my first Celtics game since they beat the Pistons in the 2002 playoffs. I sat behind one of the baskets, (excellent seats since nobody in their right mind would actually consider going to watch that wretched team, well that and NBA basketball is horrible) and during the second half the cheerleaders started passing out thunderstix to the crowd behind the Pacers basket.

Now I may have gone on a small rant about the fact that there were Celtics' cheerleaders. For those not familiar, the Celtics have NEVER HAD CHEERLEADERS, and since I believe cheerleaders to be a waste of oxygen, I was happy to be a fan. Red Auerbach is my idol and he knows his basketball. He also knows that a basketball arena should not look like a circus, and people don't go for gimmicks. People go to watch a basketball game, not anorexic midgets dressed in skimpy clothing and pom-poms.

But in order to further shit on the grave of Red Auerbach, the Celtics brass has decided to complete the gimmicking of the Fleet Center and introduce thunderstix. Now I don't care that they are loud, its supposed to be loud in an arena. But people bang them without realizing one thing:

The noise produced by banging a pair of inflatable dildos is actually smaller (in decibel levels) than the noise produced by one PAIR OF CLAPPING HANDS.

If you want to make noise, get off your feet and yell at the sorry sack attempting a free throw. Stamp your feet, clap your hands, do something. Don't sit on your ass and bang those dildos together during timeouts, it just pisses off your neighbors.

Danny Ainge has officially shit on the grave of Red Auerbach with every move he has made since joining the organization. And yes I know Red isn't dead yet, but if he's got a grave picked out, its got a fresh steaming pile of Danny Ainge droppings waiting for him. If he hasn't got a grave picked out, Ainge has been shitting in a plastic bag for months now, in preparation to fertilize the good man's grave when he does go.

The second the Red Sox pass out thunderstix in Fenway Park, I will cease to be a fan of the organization. You can mark that down and save it if you want.

No more basketball talk here, the NBA is horrible, the NHL is cooler during a lockout. Baseball talk resumes next week. Continue on.
Curt  ¶ 3:14 PM