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Jason Giambi has a mancrush on Barry Bonds? And I have a mancrush on Jose Lima. Up is down once again.
MLB news is picking up. The hotstove season is starting to really get going. Don't think I'll be able to keep up, but thats okay.
If you're looking for a comment on the Jason Giambi statement, you can go elsewhere. I got an email asking about it, and I figured I'd blurt out a quick statement here, to sum up my position.
I don't care.
Not entirely true. He's a Yankee. I smile internally when he comes down with benign tumors. While I'm not proud of that fact, I can't deny it. So seeing Jason Giambi at the center of controversy does make me smile a little, and I am hoping against hope that the Yankees are not able to weasel their way out of the rest of his contract.
But what goes on "outside the lines" is about as interesting to me as the proceedings of the House of Representatives. If you all knew how little non-sports related TV I watch, you'd probablly freak out and try to build a time machine to move me forward past the 50's. I don't care about celebrities, and anything "outside the lines" is exactly that, its exactly what I hate, its reducing athletes to the status of celebrity. Which is bad. For athletes.
To me, Giambi is missing next season. Or maybe he's not, I don't know, but talking about the possibility is as exciting to me as if he had an ankle injury. Is an ankle injury exciting?
On that note, this other story would be funny regardless of who it was. See there is a difference. Jose Lima is a funny guy. He's one of only two or three heroes that I have (the others being Toussaint L'Ouverture and a ex-IRA Roxbury Cop named Gallagher I met at a Wu-Tang Clan concert and who taught me the inherent beauty of the double ear clap). To see Jose Lima add another chapter to an already rich story is just too much to pass by.
A jury is actually making Jose Lima pay $500,000 to a woman he gave herpes to. Is that the going rate? I think I could deal with herpes for a half million. Any old dirty women out there want to have one last fling?
Er, I'm kidding. Guys, I'm kidding.
Anyways, if Jose Lima ever wants to write a book about his story, I'd love to be the ghostwriter. Not to mention I'd get a chance to meet his wife (who obviously also has herpes, maybe I can sue her).
I'd like to take this moment to point out Jose Lima's wife:
Well, regardless of real or not, the good news is there's still hope for all you STD carrying dirtbags out there.
Okay, no more of that, from now on its all inside the lines. I heard the Yankees are after another pitcher older than dirt.
Relatively clean STD carrying dirtbags and Jason Giambi's mom can email Curt to complain.